Totally Irrelevant Social Parasites Actually Do Something Positive And Relevant!

If it was up to me, Kings, Queens and Royalty the world over would be stripped of their titles and entitlements, their money distributed to the poor and then put to work in animal sanctuaries. Fortunately though it's not up to me. If it was, if I had that kind of earth shattering power... that would make me a sort of king myself, the ultimate king! And after I finished with royalty I'd go after wall street billionaires and strip them of their wealth, build ginormous solar panels in space to supply the world with free energy, and then re-train the bankers to be the maintenance crew. Wahahahaha!

But I digress. The recent royal wedding in England, being the gigantic money sucking waste of space, time and energy that it is nevertheless managed to squeeze an ounce of progressive policy through its gold plated sphincter: They went vegan! Yes folks, the entire wedding was catered with vegan only food. Not a plate of bangers and mash (ugh) in sight. No Pheasants, fish eggs or goose livers - some of the favorite victims of the privileged - were harmed during this absurd spectacle.

Now, being royalty and completely out of touch with reality, the main reason for this gastronomical beneficence is political. The Queen wanted to make sure her guests, which included Hindus and Muslims (who think some types of meat are OK but others are verboten, but not the same ones) didn't offend their respective deities thereby causing what surely would be an international and inter-dimensional incident in which Krishna, Allah and Jesus would have to enter a pie (vegan pie, mind you) eating contest to settle things.

In the real world this will mainly serve to reinforce what many people mistakenly believe: that veganism is elitist; that you need to be rich to be a vegan. For the British people, victims of outrageous bank fraud and draconian social spending cutbacks, that if anything is what will resonate. I hope I'm wrong.